There’s so much to talk about. And yet there’s nothing. It’s been 2 weeks since College started and I can see the effects already. Life is settling into the same boring and monotonous routine that I’m only too used to. I wake up everyday, excited at the prospect of something new, something fun but it always ends the same way. Boring. Tiring. Blah. I think about new things to write everyday. Just yesterday I was thinking about writing a post about 5 of my favorite Indian videos. Before that I thought I should talk about counselors. But these thoughts never reach the paper, or in this case – the post editor. A week back I wrote a 750 word post which I don’t agree with anymore. I don’t even know if this one is gonna see the light of the day. Even though everything is so boring and monotonous, it’s certainly not slow. I find myself wanting to sleep a little more, to read a little more, to watch some more movies yadda yadda yadda. But there’s no time! I keep shuttling between college and MBA classes and it feels like class 11th and 12th over again. The only difference is that the situation seems more serious now. It’s actually scary because every time my dad sees me, there’s this look in his eyes that seems to say, “Hurry up kid, it’s your last chance. Don’t disappoint us again.” . And then there is this feeling, of having missed something, or having gotten too late for something, that’s been haunting me for quite a while now. There is a feeling of urgency everywhere and I’m not used to all of this. I’m used to being lazy and complacent. I don’t mind my MBA classes, actually. The English ones, that is. We discuss nice things sometimes. Just yesterday we discussed Shuckspeare. Yes, that’s how most of the junta pronounces him. And then there was Feminism. The girls refused to say anything. The guys were too eager. Nobody made much sense in the end. Eagerness reminds me, there’s this guy in the class who’s pursuing his engineering degree. He’s the typical guy – tall, well built, strong and confident types. The other day I saw him having a rather animated discussion with somebody and I had to butt in just to see what it was all about. I thought they were probably discussing motorbikes or something because that’s the kind of thing that would get a guy excited. But no. I was in for the shock of my life. They were discussing Twilight. I have never, and I mean ever seen any guy rave about Twilight like that. He said he loved the movies and that he’s gonna read all the books now. I had to try really hard to control my laughter. I left in a hurry because I was scared he might start talking about how oh so awesome Edward Cullen is and everything. I wouldn’t have been able to control myself in case that had happened. So yea, I’ve pretty much been to hell and back. Back thanks to this superb article in Sunday’s Hindustan Times which talked about how the one thing that attracts women to men is their eyes. The entire thing was funny as such but the reference to Tamil Nadu Chief Minister M. Karunanidhi took the cake. It was talking about how Karunanidhi makes you want to not believe this article because he always wears sunglasses and yet has had 3 wives and 6 children! Bwahaha!

College is pretty boring this time around. Most of the subjects are theory based. One of them is about management and computers. So our teacher gave us an assignment in which we had to describe a live example of how computers is being used to manage things in some company or something. Usually I would’ve looked it up on the internet like everybody else but I don’t know what got into me and I decided to visit the local Apple iStore. And because it’s got the Apple deal associated with it, I imagined myself meeting some smart suited-booted manager, and impressing him with my questions and so on. Instead I got to meet a low-waist jeans wearing normal looking guy. It was quite an anti-climax and I was at a loss for words. I hadn’t expected that. But I shouldn’t take anything away from him because even though it didn’t go exactly how I had thought it would, I did get my answers. But the one thing I noticed about him was that he seemed really happy with his job and very proud of it. And that always happens when you see somebody associated with Apple – whether employees or customers. Most of them would jump off a cliff if Steve Jobs told them to. I don’t have a big problem with that till they keep it to themselves. But when they start preaching, it gets very annoying. They go on and on and on as if Apple is the only thing on the planet worth living for. You’d actually think they’ll have sex with their machines. It’s insane. You know, it’s no wonder that more than half of the hits on this blog come from people searching for things like “porn”, “sex”, “nude chicks” and “Rani Mukerjee nude”. I relate everything with sex, beh. But that still doesn’t justify “Rani Mukerjee nude”. I swear I have never written anything about that. But you know what? The hits are going to increase after this post because I just mentioned it twice. :\

There is a presentation too sometime next week. I never get the easy topic. I got Network Security this time. Any kind of help is most welcome. Try to make it fast, though. I wish I had gotten Software Piracy instead. It would’ve been a piece of cake. I would have ended it in three powerpoint slides. They would have been like:-

Slide 1 – This presentation was made on a pirated copy of Microsoft Powerpoint.

Slide 2 – Which was running on a pirated copy of Microsoft Windows.

Slide 3 – Thank You.

Would’ve been such a hit. Too bad I didn’t get it, no?

So how many of you read this story called The cut off ( by Chetan Bhagat, in Hindustan Times? Is it just me or does anybody else who read it also think that the happy ending ruined it? I thought it was a nice idea, you know. It’s a real issue and people should be talking about that. But what about the stupid ending? Parents don’t behave like that guy’s parents did. If everybody’s parents understood them, life would have been so easy. I was hoping for a much more dramatic ending. But what else can you expect from Chetan? All his novels end with everybody being happy as if the entire issue that made up the book wasn’t even something worth discussing. Lame.

10 thoughts on “Monotony

  1. U hadn’t expected the cool guy manager.. watch more apple commercials man..
    anyway, i really thought parents could be that understanding a couple of days back.. but i’ve been hearing so much praise and good deeds of this generation of indians, that i’m not sure abt anything what we might or might not do…
    and btw, that guy discussing twilight, i don’t wanna judge but i’m pretty sure he must be a closet homosexual..

  2. 5 of my favorite Indian videos
    Is “school ke tem pe” one of them? :D

    And what’s that 750 word post about?

    Jeez, why are kids so damn obsessed with Edward Cullen? I’ve neither read the books, nor seen the movies. Vampires don’t really interest me.

    Pity you didn’t get that topic foe presentation. You’d have blown the audience away or something. :D

    Chetan Bhagat is lame. His stuff is lame. Btw, I read that story. It was crappy.

    About the “Rani Mukherjee nude” part — you are a clever, clever guy. You know how to attract the right crowd. :D

  3. You see, we design our products through several, stressful hours of non-thinking. You won’t believe how much LSD and Peyote I have to do for that. I basically shoot myself up, and then I go to what we call the iRoom. Where its all about you and that energy if you know what I mean man. In those hours I get so many ideas man and when I orgasm I know that I have found the big one.

    Then before we do anything we make the Ads. If we can’t make some shiny white uber-rude ad then we cancel the whole project. You see at most companies advertising is a secondary thing, that is why they suck, but we Think Different at Apple. So we know what we are doing.

    Then Ive comes along and we do hours of non-thinking while looking at the protoypes before we finalise ANYTHING. It HAS to be PERFECT. The curves should make everybody orgasm when they see it, and the touch itself has to be fulfilling if you know what I mean.

    So, after the months of the zen non-thinking, feng shui consultants. The countless hours of naming the thing and looking at different shades of black. We get our iSlaves, erm, employees together and we lock them into a room and tell them to make the thing.

    Of course the hardware guys don’t know what is the software, and the software guys work from sockets in the wall, while red lights flash around them. If they screw up we fucking revoke their super duper top-secret level clearance and call in the iTroops who promptly stage a suicide.

    Do you honestly think that our products could be that friggin’ perfect, if our engineers didn’t think that someone will die each time a bug surfaces?

    The most important thing we do are the events where I, the dear leader, go on stage while my iSlaves clap, whistle, moan and cry with every word I utter on stage. Can you imagine what it does to those mere mortals when they stand before rows and rows of shiny Apple products while they hear the voice of god in their head??

    In case you’re wondering how our iSlaves handle the humilation I hand to them every single second of the day. Then, look no further than the fact that we go out of our way to hire masochists. So it is all an orgasmic experience to them that is why they are all so happy, you see.

    Oh and by the way we call the salestards ‘Apple Geniuses’, and their job is not to sell you anything, but to guard the altar in front of which you kneal to worship my creations.

    Now, do you see why they are all so happy? It is due to me. The dark prince of technology, the genius with the midas touch, the visionary artist who does stuff with ten million shades of black in his bedroom. And all of them are grateful to me that I allow them to use my beautiful machines.

    I hope that I have solved the mystery behind your observation.

    P.S. If you need help with network security then write me a mail. Further, if you need any help at all with anything in computers then seriously I am just a mail away.

    Oh and I can also give you pointers on how to give presentations so that the crowd starts moaning with every word.

    Peace Out,

  4. LOL, iSlaves ;) You have an interesting commentator above.

    I am sure you will get some powerful slide on Network Security as well. Nice way you get your hits. ;)

  5. And I liked the ending of Chetan Bhagat’s story. Ending works since he successfully made his points. And ending in suicide would have been just run of the mill news story, considering suicide news of students throng newspapers all the time. :(

  6. Hey! Ish
    Ok i know there are a lot of guys around here backing apple up and ever more tryna pushing it in a ditch but still being an apple fanboy/girl is kinda cool!!
    Ok I agree being apple fanboy is childish/immature but still you are different than the rest, ……
    I dunno what am I tryna prove so bbye

    P.S. the last link is kinda broken!!!

  7. Slide 1 – This presentation was made on a pirated copy of Microsoft Powerpoint.

    Slide 2 – Which was running on a pirated copy of Microsoft Windows.

    Slide 3 – Thank You.


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