24 = That American show in which a certain invincible fellow called Jack Bauer protects the US of A from random terrorist attacks. His specialty? He does it in 24 hours. Flat.

CID = That Indian show in which a certain invincible invincible (yes, he’s invincible twice over) fellow called ACP Pradyuman solves anything under the sun ranging from murder mysteries, to drug rackets and sex scandals. His specialty? He solves every case in one episode. Flat. Beat that, Bauer.

24 is frustration. Every season consists of 24 episodes of 1 hour each, depicting an hour out of the life and times of Mr. Jack Bauer, working as something or something else with the US Government. It is so addictive that as soon as one episode finishes, you start thinking what would happen in the next one. And if you somehow manage to miss one of the episodes, the entire season is pretty much ruined for you. Yes, they do show a brief recap but it isn’t much of a help.

CID, meanwhile, is fun. Crazy fun. A new case starts every episode and they always manage to solve it by the end of the episode. This means that you don’t have to worry about what would happen in the next episode and it hardly matters if you manage to miss a couple of them in between. CID will come back to entertain you, fresh as ever. Plus, ACP Pradyuman is more efficient and responsible than Bauer. He’s been ACP of the CID for more years than you can count. And he’ll continue to serve at that position for more years than your computer can count. Finally they’ll make him the Prime Minister of India.

Let us go into a point wise analysis of why CID kicks 24’s ass:-

• The premise. The basic idea behind the two series says it all. While 24 focuses only on terrorist threats to the United States, CID focuses on any problem that could arise in any part of the country. Just how long can you keep watching Islamic terrorists and drug lords trying to blow up the USA? It gets boring and monotonous after a while. CID on the other hand continues to surprise you every single time with it’s magnificent episodes and plots such as “Kissa kuchle hue cockroach ka”, “Kissa Inspector Daya ke kidnapping ka”, “Kissa mummy ke khoon ka”, and maybe even “Kissa Inspector Abhijeet ke Computer pe mile Russian porn ka”. See what I mean? And yes, they would totally show a censored version of the Russian porn found on Inspector Abhijeet’s computer. That’s how awesome they are.

• 24 is a very one man show. It’s all about Jack Bauer and how he single handedly kicks everyone’s ass. CID, however, teaches us something much more important. It teaches us team spirit. This show isn’t merely about ACP Pradyuman’s heroics. It is also about Inspector Abhijeet’s brilliant ideas, Inspector Daya’s brute strength, Inspector Freddy’s crazy sense of humor, and Dr Salunkhe’s unbelievably accurate corpse analysis techniques. And of course, how can we not mention his bravery and wit? He’s probably the only guy on the planet who picks on Pradyuman and gets away with it.

• 24 is very unpredictable as far as the people are concerned. You never when who is going to change sides and decide to support the terrorists. The only guy who’ll always be good is Jack Bauer because nobody has the balls to say that Jack Bauer is bad. The CID personnel, however, are completely devoted and dedicated to their country and department. Maybe Pradyuman made them sign loyalty oaths (Catch22, anyone?). So, yes, the CID personnel are completely dedicated and they will always do what Pradyuman tells them to do, unlike Bauer’s subordinates, who never do what he says. Pradyuman will order Daya, “Daya, shoot yourself in the head, and make sure you die. And then come back alive, okay?” and Daya will shoot himself in the head, will die and will come back. Nobody ever, and I mean EVER disobeys ACP Pradyuman.

• Let’s face it – Jack Bauer is very impractical. He’s just like Sunny Deol. He goes right into the headquarters of the terrorists alone, gets tortured, escapes, tortures them and saves America. How is that any different from what Sunny Deol does in every other movie? And then you go and criticize the poor guy. ACP Pradyuman on the other hand, is the most practical man on the face of this earth. Even on the face of the solar system for that matter, because even the aliens don’t dare mess with him. So yeah, he stays in the office, does a couple of convulsive hand movements, gives a couple of strained expressions and solves the cases. No wonder he’s been the head of CID for such a long time now whereas Bauer keeps getting sacked in every season. Learn from daddy, Bauer. Learn.

• 24 feels like work, whereas CID is entertainment. As I’ve already mentioned, you actually have to use your head to understand what’s going on in 24. What is the point of doing that when you’re watching TV to relax and give your brains some rest? CID is a lot of fun. You don’t need to tax your brains. You just sit there and marvel at how those guys consistently solve the most complicated of cases in just 1 hour. Moreover, CID gives you hope. It actually shows you that there were people who were even more bored than you were. They were so bored that they decided to get together and make CID, which has now successfully removed the word ‘boredom’ from many a dictionary. That’s the hidden power of CID. They’re doing everything for a greater good. And 24? Bleh.

And if you still aren’t convinced, just go and check out the Wikipedia pages for 24 and CID. And you’ll see that CID completely destroys 24. Twice over. More than that, actually. And with this, I rest my case. Thanks for listening. And if you still don’t agree, watch out. Pradyuman is coming for your ass, baby!

Oh hello all you not so famous people, how the hell are you doing? It might make you happy (or may make you envy me) to know that yours truly (or falsely because you’re not exactly supposed to know who I am) was featured in a Hindustan Times article recently as “Ishmeet, a blogger” who thinks that Chetan Bhagat’s new book “2 states” is lame. In fact, he’s giving Chetan some feedback out there. I’m ready to bet my ass that Chetan has already started working on that advice and his next book is going to feature a guy who fails his exams, gets dumped by his girlfriend, loses money in the share market, decides to join the Taliban and blow himself up taking around 200 other people with him. However, the customary sex scene description will still be there. You can’t really give up your USP so easily, can you? But to spice it up, instead of having sex with his girlfriend, the guy is gonna go out and have sex with some random chick who’ll end up giving him AIDS just to add to his woes. But then again, AIDS is not as big a deal as doing well in exams is, is it? So yes, he’ll blow himself up because he failed, and not because he got AIDS. So therefore, after we’ve read the book, we’ll go around blaming Mr. Kapil Sibal, and not Mr. Ghulam Nabi Azad.

But the only problem here is that whatever I had said, and whatever was mentioned there, wasn’t even said in context to that particular book. It had been said for a story that Chetan had written for the Hindustan Times. And the link to that story was given right next to the line that was copied and pasted into the newspaper. But of course, you must always ignore things like that. Who needs to ask Ishmeet, the blogger for his permission before publishing what he said? For the most part, he might not even realize that he has been mentioned in the newspaper. And even if he does find out, we could always go around saying that it was someone else. You can get bloggers a dozen a dime these days, can’t you? But I guess it’s not so bad after all, is it? It made me famous. Now an entire 4 people know that I was there in the newspaper. Heh, way to go! :D

Sadly, I’m not as hawt or as dumb as Ms. Paris Hilton, or else I would’ve been going around flashing my, ahem, whatevers. But then again, since I’m not a chick, nobody would be interested anyway. They’d rather go around watching Sherlyn Chopra doing a strip dance on Bigg Boss 3 and after having thoroughly ogled at her boobs, they’ll go and open their Twitter accounts and say how disgusting her behavior was and how she, Rakhi Sawant and and some 14 other waxed up celebrities should star in a reality show called ‘Silicon Sixteens!’.

Somehow, even though I meant this post to be funny and everything, it’s sounding more like, um, unhappy and frustrated. I wonder what that’s all about, now. Maybe it’s the exams. Or maybe I’ve finally taken Eminem’s advice and have Just Lost it. Aaaaaaaaa!!

I’ve clearly run out of suitable titles for my posts. This one is another example. You might think this post would be about Coldplay’s free concert album, or my political views, or driving, or something else. But it isn’t. It isn’t about anything, in general.

How do you react when you meet someone who you think is greatness personified? As in, somebody who is what you want to be in the future? Do you feel happy about meeting him/her? Do you ask him/her for tips and ideas? Do you want him/her to guide you? I don’t. Instead, I envy that person because, somewhere, I get a feeling that I’ll never be able to become what he/she is and so, I start hating him/her. Hating to the point of trying to find faults in them to prove that they are not so great after all. It’s very difficult to inspire me. This could be one of the reasons why all of my dad’s so called inspirational students have never been able to work their magic on me. I will like them initially, but when they go on blabbering about how they did this, and they did that, I’ll lose interest and start hating them for what they’ve achieved. Whether this is jealousy, or lack of self confidence, I don’t know. What I do, however know is that I’m not a very happy person by nature. My happiness is very momentary, it never lasts for more than a couple of hours at a stretch. Left to myself, I would probably sit and curse everything that may be keeping me from achieving something but I would never do anything about that. Did I tell you I also despise self help books? I don’t like anybody giving me any kind of advice. I know it’s good most of the times but I don’t really like it. I don’t like people telling me what to do but I won’t do anything revolutionary myself, either. Where does such a person go? Well, maybe I’ll be able to tell you some 20 years from now.

I don’t have any classes today and still I’m not happy. I just won 2 god damned laptops in an online competition and yes, you guessed it, I’m not happy. I did, however, shout and dance and wake up a couple of neighbors when I realised I’d won. But that excitement was short lived. It’s just like I told you – I’m not a very happy person by nature. The next post, if it happens, would probably be about those two laptops and hopefully, it’ll be a happy one.

PS: Go Federer! Kick some Nadal butt!

Me = Me. Myself = My conscience/alter ego/whatever. I talk to myself.

Mr. X – So then, what you aiming for, CAT?
Me – Yeah, pretty much.
Myself – Um, do you really believe you can clear the CAT? Because I don’t.
Me – Um, are you telling me that you don’t believe in yourself?
Myself – When did I say that? I don’t believe in YOU.
Me – But you can’t believe in yourself and not believe in me!
Myself – Why can’t I? Huh?
Me – Dude, because you ARE me!
Myself – Says who?
Me – Says I!
Myself - But I don’t even believe in you!
Me – You don’t believe IN me. But you have to believe me!
Myself – Says who?
Me – Says I!
Myself – But you are not me.
Me – Yes, I am.
Myself – No, you aren’t. I am a figment of your imagination, not you.
Me – A figment of MY imagination. MY = Me. You do and say what I make you say. Get it?
Myself – Nevermind, you won’t understand. You’re just thick.
Me – And you are smarter than me, huh?
Myself – Of course I am!
Me – No you aren’t. Your words are my thoughts, we’re at the same intellectual level.
Myself – Says who?
Me – Says I!
Mr. X – So then, what college you in?
Me – Huh?
Teacher – You two! Shut up and solve the questions!
Me – Huh?
Myself – Dumbass, he just told you to shut the fuck up and solve the questions.
Me – Huh?
Myself – Nevermind.

Just another day at the office for a loser. :)

There’s so much to talk about. And yet there’s nothing. It’s been 2 weeks since College started and I can see the effects already. Life is settling into the same boring and monotonous routine that I’m only too used to. I wake up everyday, excited at the prospect of something new, something fun but it always ends the same way. Boring. Tiring. Blah. I think about new things to write everyday. Just yesterday I was thinking about writing a post about 5 of my favorite Indian videos. Before that I thought I should talk about counselors. But these thoughts never reach the paper, or in this case – the post editor. A week back I wrote a 750 word post which I don’t agree with anymore. I don’t even know if this one is gonna see the light of the day. Even though everything is so boring and monotonous, it’s certainly not slow. I find myself wanting to sleep a little more, to read a little more, to watch some more movies yadda yadda yadda. But there’s no time! I keep shuttling between college and MBA classes and it feels like class 11th and 12th over again. The only difference is that the situation seems more serious now. It’s actually scary because every time my dad sees me, there’s this look in his eyes that seems to say, “Hurry up kid, it’s your last chance. Don’t disappoint us again.” . And then there is this feeling, of having missed something, or having gotten too late for something, that’s been haunting me for quite a while now. There is a feeling of urgency everywhere and I’m not used to all of this. I’m used to being lazy and complacent. I don’t mind my MBA classes, actually. The English ones, that is. We discuss nice things sometimes. Just yesterday we discussed Shuckspeare. Yes, that’s how most of the junta pronounces him. And then there was Feminism. The girls refused to say anything. The guys were too eager. Nobody made much sense in the end. Eagerness reminds me, there’s this guy in the class who’s pursuing his engineering degree. He’s the typical guy – tall, well built, strong and confident types. The other day I saw him having a rather animated discussion with somebody and I had to butt in just to see what it was all about. I thought they were probably discussing motorbikes or something because that’s the kind of thing that would get a guy excited. But no. I was in for the shock of my life. They were discussing Twilight. I have never, and I mean ever seen any guy rave about Twilight like that. He said he loved the movies and that he’s gonna read all the books now. I had to try really hard to control my laughter. I left in a hurry because I was scared he might start talking about how oh so awesome Edward Cullen is and everything. I wouldn’t have been able to control myself in case that had happened. So yea, I’ve pretty much been to hell and back. Back thanks to this superb article in Sunday’s Hindustan Times which talked about how the one thing that attracts women to men is their eyes. The entire thing was funny as such but the reference to Tamil Nadu Chief Minister M. Karunanidhi took the cake. It was talking about how Karunanidhi makes you want to not believe this article because he always wears sunglasses and yet has had 3 wives and 6 children! Bwahaha!

College is pretty boring this time around. Most of the subjects are theory based. One of them is about management and computers. So our teacher gave us an assignment in which we had to describe a live example of how computers is being used to manage things in some company or something. Usually I would’ve looked it up on the internet like everybody else but I don’t know what got into me and I decided to visit the local Apple iStore. And because it’s got the Apple deal associated with it, I imagined myself meeting some smart suited-booted manager, and impressing him with my questions and so on. Instead I got to meet a low-waist jeans wearing normal looking guy. It was quite an anti-climax and I was at a loss for words. I hadn’t expected that. But I shouldn’t take anything away from him because even though it didn’t go exactly how I had thought it would, I did get my answers. But the one thing I noticed about him was that he seemed really happy with his job and very proud of it. And that always happens when you see somebody associated with Apple – whether employees or customers. Most of them would jump off a cliff if Steve Jobs told them to. I don’t have a big problem with that till they keep it to themselves. But when they start preaching, it gets very annoying. They go on and on and on as if Apple is the only thing on the planet worth living for. You’d actually think they’ll have sex with their machines. It’s insane. You know, it’s no wonder that more than half of the hits on this blog come from people searching for things like “porn”, “sex”, “nude chicks” and “Rani Mukerjee nude”. I relate everything with sex, beh. But that still doesn’t justify “Rani Mukerjee nude”. I swear I have never written anything about that. But you know what? The hits are going to increase after this post because I just mentioned it twice. :\

There is a presentation too sometime next week. I never get the easy topic. I got Network Security this time. Any kind of help is most welcome. Try to make it fast, though. I wish I had gotten Software Piracy instead. It would’ve been a piece of cake. I would have ended it in three powerpoint slides. They would have been like:-

Slide 1 – This presentation was made on a pirated copy of Microsoft Powerpoint.

Slide 2 – Which was running on a pirated copy of Microsoft Windows.

Slide 3 – Thank You.

Would’ve been such a hit. Too bad I didn’t get it, no?

So how many of you read this story called The cut off (http://bit.ly/z1sXP) by Chetan Bhagat, in Hindustan Times? Is it just me or does anybody else who read it also think that the happy ending ruined it? I thought it was a nice idea, you know. It’s a real issue and people should be talking about that. But what about the stupid ending? Parents don’t behave like that guy’s parents did. If everybody’s parents understood them, life would have been so easy. I was hoping for a much more dramatic ending. But what else can you expect from Chetan? All his novels end with everybody being happy as if the entire issue that made up the book wasn’t even something worth discussing. Lame.

So I thought that college is horrible and that holidays would be fun. If nothing else, I would be able to happily lie on my bed, read a couple of books, eat some junk, waste time on the computer and so on. And while I am doing all of that, it isn’t fun. Then I thought I should try and figure out why life isn’t fun. My conclusion is that it is because of a general lack of interest and passion. I made a post about how I couldn’t figure out what I should actually study because nothing excites me. Now I’ve realised that this is not limited only to my studies, but happens to my life in general. There is absolutely nothing in life that would make me go, “Oh fuck yes, this is fun!” or “Oh fuck yes, I wanna do this!”. There was a point in life where I couldn’t live without coming online, chatting, posting comments, reading posts and so on but now, days pass and I just keep lurking without really coming online, talking to people, reading and commenting. Quite frankly, I don’t know why this is happening and I really can’t figure a way out. It’s not like I don’t try. I do, but in the end, I always end up drawing a blank. It’s reached a point where I keep lying in front of the computer all day and end up not doing anything. I’m not talking about anything productive, I just don’t do anything at all.

Anyway, I saw Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and it was disappointing. I mean, the fights, action and everything was great but still, it wasn’t a lot of fun. I made a list of some things which didn’t make the cut for me:-

• No feelings. This was my major issue with the movie. I’m not somebody who cares a lot about storylines, camera, editing and stuff but there should be basic emotions. I remember the time when they used to show Transformers Armada on Cartoon Network. We literally cried when Optimus Prime died. And we bloody celebrated with the Canteen’s Isspeshul Spicy Mirchiwala Manchurian when he resurrected. It felt great. But in this movie, Optimus died, resurrected and I didn’t feel a thing. And that’s lame because that is what I went to see the movie for. I’m a big Optimus fan.

• The numbers. Why are there always around 3 Decepticons for every Autobot? It almost always ends up with Optimus Prime and Bumblebee doing a Rajnikanth and a Sunny Deol respectively. I’m bored with seeing uneven battles and with seeing Optimus always kicking the enemy’s ass just because he’s the Prime. I mean, he almost got his ass kicked in trying to kill Megatron in the last movie and here he’s kicking Megatron and the Fallen’s ass rather easily. Quit with the heroics, really. We like Optimus because of his attitude and his leadership skills, not because of his brute, unreasonable and illogical strength.

• Identification. It’s quite easy to distinguish between the various Autobots. You can clearly tell who’s Optmius, who’s Bumblebee, who are the twins and so on. But what’s with the Decepticons? You can hardly tell the difference between Megatron, Starscream and the Fallen until they show them really close. And is it just me or does someone else also think that Mr. Fallen resembles Mr. Davy Jones from Pirates of the Caribbean?

• Megan Fox. Megan Fox is the kind of chick who can save a dying movie simply by looking ridiculously hot. But I don’t think she was looking hot in this one. The really long eyelashes were stupid and I have a feeling she’s done something to her lips and has ended up resembling Angelina Jolie. Now I pretty much hate Angelina so you might have guessed why Megan Fox has made it to this list.

So yea, that pretty much does it for this post. I don’t think I should continue writing when there’s nothing to say. I’m just hoping that time will pass, things will work themselves out, some things that shouldn’t have happened will work themselves out too, and that something which will make this life exciting will happen. One should never stop hoping.

This post would have been titled “That This That Was Left Out Those Two Times” but then Vasudha Pande pwned me so I had to think up something new. You made a lazy guy think up new titles, V, God will not forgive you for that.

Anyway, the exams have finally, finally ended and I have about a month and half of summer vacations now. You would expect I’d enjoy, watch movies, hang out with friends or at least laze around if nothing else. But it doesn’t work like that. There’s a new chapter in the life and times of ME. Notice the pompous beginning? I’ve always wished that my life be so exciting that someday somebody writes a book on it. Right now that book would have about 3 pages – The title, the contents and Chapter 1 which still needs to be written. So, anyway, the new thing in life is that I’ve joined MBA coaching classes. Why I’m doing an MBA is a long story so we’ll chuck that. I really don’t know what this chapter would turn out to become. It could be life altering or it could be like re-reading of the previous chapter where I joined Engineering coaching and didn’t end up becoming one. Right now I’m not thinking about the end. Some of you would tell me that it’s stupid to do something without thinking about what happens at the end of it but I really don’t care. I’ve realized that I’m not somebody who gets motivated by aims and targets. If I am to get somewhere, I’ll get there and if I’m not, then setting my eyes on IIM-A, visiting the campus and setting my Facebook status as “Going to IIM-A” won’t help. That’s just not how I function. Besides, I know it’s not my aim. It’s just one of those things that you need to do in order to facilitate the achievement of the aim, or basically just to shut everybody up and to make them let you be on your own. I know I shouldn’t be affected by what people say but that’s just how I am. And it’s not like I haven’t tried changing it. It never worked.

Anyway, the coaching involves 2 hour long classes of Math, Logic and English. I think English is fairly fine, Logic is interesting and Math, well, it’s not that bad after all. I’ve attended about 8 classes and 1 group discussion and they’ve been do-able. But this is just the beginning so you never know what happens as the complexity and stuff increases. Logic is interesting because it makes you work. It’s surprising how you tend to not be able to solve things which have such simple logics behind them and yet you can solve the biggest math question that there is. I’d been thinking, thinking and thinking over the following question for over 2 days and yet I couldn’t come up with an answer:-

A: If I say 6, you say 3. If I say 12, you say 6. If I say 10, what do you say?

B: So simple! It’s 5!

A: Haha, no! It’s 3!

B: Uh oh?!

And you had to tell how 10 became 3. So I kept banging my head, I tried all the Math I know, I tried the number line, I tried almost every confusing technique in the book. And then I decided to put the question on Facebook and it took Dabido an entire 2 seconds to come up with an answer after I told him it’s a logic question.  Goes like this:-

6 = SIX = Three letters.

12 = TWELVE = Six letters.

And

10 = TEN = Three letters.

And that is why when I say 10, you say 3 and not 5. Just how simple was that? And yet I never thought about that. I think it’s about observation and IQ. Dabs took 2 IQ tests which told him he’s among the top 1% people in the world. So technically he’s a genius. But that doesn’t make me feel any better about myself! 2 days and I hadn’t even started thinking along those lines!

And then there’s the English which I tend to take too seriously for some reason I’ve been trying to find out for a while. There was another Flaw Detection question in which we were given a paragraph in which we had to find errors. One of the lines in the paragraph went:-

Harry Potter, the hero and Vandermot, the villain of the famous Harry Potter series were seen having tea together.

I read that line and up went my hand in the air. I had found the flaw! Here’s what happened:-

Me *raising hand*: Sir! Sir!

Sir: Yes?

Me: Sir! I found the flaw!

Sir: You did? What is the flaw?

Me: Sir, the villain in the Harry Potter series is called Voldemort, not Vandermot! Hee!

Sir: Oh come on.

Me: Yes sir! I know! How could they have been so silly?

Sir: Sir, we’re finding grammatical errors here. Not factual errors.

Me: Uh, but. But. Uh, alright.

But how can anybody just call Voldemort Vandermot? It’s almost a crime! It’s bigger than any grammatical error that there is! Not in the CAT though.  After those rather inspiring incidents, I don’t know where this is gonna go. But it is kind of scary.

Have you noticed how June has so many birthdays? Nidhi had her birthday a few days back. Kriti had hers on Sunday. Reema had hers yesterday and its Ashish’s birthday today. Some month, eh?

The power situation out here is rather erratic. I think I’ll have to go back to spending my days like I did during one of those bad summers during the engineering coaching days. We knew the power cut timings so we’d go and park our asses at McDonalds or KFC for hours every day because they had their AC’s running. 30 bucks for 2 hours in the AC is a fair enough deal, I think. Agreed the coffee sucked but still, it was better than sitting at home doing nothing and getting fried in the heat. The only problem now is that I don’t have a friend to take along with me to KFC or McDonalds. I think I’ma have to make some new friends at the coaching place. Talking about McDonalds, their Chicken McNuggets are the end of the world. And the Barbecue Sauce that they provide with them is something beyond the end of the world. Talking about the end of the world, I saw Angels and Demons. I can’t decide if it was good as bad. If you compare it with the book, it was sad. Stand alone it was just about okay. If they’d taken Megan Fox for Vittoria Vetra, I would’ve said it’s good. That said, Megan Fox isn’t looking too hawt in the new Transformers promo. Transformers reminds me of Shia LaBeouf. He reminds me of The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien (which is awesome, btw) and Conan’s show reminds me of Green Day. You totally have to watch the new 21 Guns video. Like NAO! And it’s right there on the Green Day link so you don’t even have to click anything extra. Do it, I tell you. PS – It’s high definition and so it might hurt certain dial-up and limited broadband connections. Don’t blame me if you overshoot your bandwidth!

Wimbledon is on. Nadal isn’t playing. Federer won his first match. But India is too busy cheering Sania Mirza on who’s managed to reach the second round. It’s like she’s won the title or something. But going by her current form, it is kind of big deal-ish. The grass at Wimbledon seems to be very slippery this year. I saw quite a few people falling around yesterday. Djokovic’s opponent – Julien Benneteau (Player Profile. He resembles Chris Martin a little.) had a rather bad day at the office but played well. He was running to play this lob shot and banged his knee into one of the walls (See here). Ouch, that must’ve hurt. Everything said, I hope Federer wins. And if Maria Sharapova can somehow end up winning too, then nothing like it.

It’s time for another pointy post. No, come on, I know the previous post was really lame but that doesn’t mean this one will be too. I blame the previous one on the Mathematics exam, which is done now. In case you are wondering, or not wondering, how it went, it was a major disaster averted. Bole toh it was really weird but I think I’ll pass. I wish the teachers and the University come to a consensus on the syllabus soon, though. Because what the teacher teaches does not come in the question paper and what comes in the question paper is not even a part of the damned syllabus. But then there are kids who walked out in half the duration of the exam and literally scoffed at the level of the paper because it was SO easy. Always leaves me wondering what the fuck I was doing there slogging for three hours. Anyway, the next exam is on the 17^th now which means I have plenty of time to let my hair (plenty of ‘em, considering I’m a Sikh) down. And that’s exactly what I’m planning to do.

• Roger Federer won the Roland Garros 2009. Yes, he did. OH FUCK YES HE DID! He beat Robin Soderling in straight sets. Although I was expecting the guy to give a tougher fight, but heck, Fed won, and that’s what is important. And then the very next day he posts an 8 second video on Facebook introducing us to his newest friend, the “Coupe des Mousquetaires” (Coupe means Cup btw. You know that na, Kriti? Sorry, couldn’t resist. :P ). Now how many guys do you know who’d bother to do something like that? He’s such a gentleman! It was great to see him getting the trophy from Andre Agassi. And dude, the guy loves crying! He’s crying all the time. Just yesterday I was talking to Nidhi (It’s her happy birthday tomorrow, so go wish her, fave a couple of her awesome photographs and make her a trending topic on Twitter!) and somehow we got into discussing who would be wrong if Federer and Mirka get into a fight. She says it would probably be Fed and that he would just start crying. So LMAO yet so very true! And then of course there was the star of the day – Mr. Streaker. He just came running and waved a flag at Federer and tried to put a hat or something on his head. While everybody was shocked and terrified thinking what happened to Monica Seles, I being the dumb old me was laughing thinking about what had happened with Andrew Symonds! Man it would have been some scene to watch Federer tackle somebody like that. He’d tackle and then say sorry and then start crying probably. Anyway, he WON! YAY!

• The MTV Tickr has become uber-lame lately. They should probably name it to the MTV Twickr because it looks like a photocopy of my Twitter timeline. MTV has a twitter account and so all the stuff you see out there on the Tickr is borrowed from the cool peeps out at Twitter. And the jokes are lame too. Except the one where the Tickr asks, “Why isn’t Harman Baweja tweeting?”. Because, “He’s waiting for Hrithik Roshan to join Twitter and start tweeting so he can RT (Retweet) him.”  Hahaha, really! But other than that, it’s all pretty lame and stuff. I even saw them doing a, “What to do after AN haircut?” Fine, I’m a grammar Nazi but you really don’t get it so wrong on National TV!

• Sticking to MTV, thought I’d rant a little about Splitsvilla. I really wanted Joanna and Mohit to win because I like Joanna and she likes Mohit so by default Mohit should be okay. But dude, the guy is such an asshole! He got his ass whooped by Siddharth in the boxing task and still he’s bitching about him. Why can’t he just accept defeat? So, so lame. I really wish Siddharth wins now. But why am I saying all this? It’s not like anybody knows who Siddharth, Joanna and Mohit are. Nobody watches Splitsvilla! Or even if they do, they don’t like to admit it. And what’s with that Fast and Gorgeous show? I didn’t get to see even ONE gorgeous chick out there. Oh, and I just noticed that Sonel is one of the contestants. Remember Sonel? Crazy girl from Roadies 5.0? Ashutosh’s girlfriend? If all that doesn’t ring a bell, nothing will. But the point is, it’s really scary to imagine her in an F1 pit or whatever it’s called. Agreed she’s not gonna be fixing the car but still, she’s got this amazing capability of botching up. I wouldn’t wanna be a driver for Force India. Oh btw, I heard Force India might get suspended from F1 anyway. Why have this stupid competition then? But yea, they could always use the girls to do cheerleading for the Bangalore Royal Challengers during IPL 3 – Modi ka Maximum!

• Talking about Twenty20, the fact that Australia got kicked out of the World Twenty20 World Cup deserves a mention. The English press is very delighted. Indian newspapers carried a few quotes from English newspapers making jokes about the Aussies. One of them went, “What do you call an Aussie during the T20 World Cup? A spectator!”. I don’t know, I thought it was funny. I don’t think India’s gonna win this year. I think Ireland is. You know who’ll benefit the maximum out of this? Lalit Modi of course. He can take the IPL to Ireland and he’ll not even have to change the name! And he can even claim that he can see the future and he knew that Ireland was gonna win this Twenty20 and that’s why he didn’t name it Hindustan Premier League or something. The guy finds a DLF Maximum everywhere!

• Oh I saw the MTV Movie Awards btw. They were cool. Although what they did to Eminem was a little over the top but that’s MTV for you. But still, it was Twilight Night full of jokes, admiration, awards and cheers for the movie based on Stephanie Meyer’s novels which has the Diggory boy a.k.a. Robert Pattinson (I’m secretly hoping this is gonna lead millions of hot chicks to my blog, btw) in lead. Why is everybody SO crazy about him?

• Talking about lameness and TV, Channel [V] is not far behind. If it’s the Tickr for MTV, it’s Facebook for Channel [V]. The other day they ask, “Do you think Public Affection of Display is cool?” and this chick replies, “No, of course not! Imagine some guy sneaking up and trying to hug you!” and I was like, Dude! PDA’s is not equal to Eve teasing for God’s sake! Stuff like this makes me feel that my generation is actually a zero.

• Talking about zeroes, I’ve managed to successfully let Green Day’s new album grow on me. While it isn’t as brilliant as American Idiot was, it’s not far behind. Billie Joe’s vocals are impressive for one. There is less of guitars out here and well, that’s how I like it. I can’t stop listening to Viva La Gloria’s beginning. Hey Gloria, are you standing close to the edge?

• Thanks to the million holidays before the next exam and the lack of electricity, I read the entire issue of this month’s Stardust. And there was this one picture which really made me laugh my ass off and fall off the bed. Here goes :-

• What were you thinking when you got that clicked, Neil Nitin Mukesh (more chicks, hee hee) ? Or have you become Neilima Nitika Mukeshwari Devi now?

• I watched 99 yesterday. It was a nice and simple movie. I’m rather impressed with Kunal Khemu (um?). I didn’t know the guy could act. The only thing that surprised me about the movie was the way in which Cyrus Broacha (haha, no way!) got sidetracked in the movie. Didn’t have a very meaty role. Boman Irani (okay..) as usual was brilliant.

• Oh btw, if I haven’t replied on your blogs for a while, I’ll get down to doing that really soon. It’s just that I’ve been a little busy and a little confused. But I have plans this time. Not plans to conquer the world or something but yea, some small plans to fix things up. I hope they work.

• Btw Btw, Mozilla Firefox crashed three times when I tried uploading that Neil Nitin Mukesh picture to WordPress.com. Is it just the picture or does that happen with other people as well?

• Chalo then, I hope I keep posting. 2 posts in 1 week is quite a big big deal by my standards.

It’s time for another one of those bulleted posts. Wonder where the idea came from? Here and Here. I guess bullet posts work for me because there’s so much to say and there’s absolutely no relation what so ever between them. But thanks to them stupid exams, which have been going on for a month now, I don’t have much to say. Did I tell you they seem to be planning to go on for another month? Pfft.

• I loved Jay Leno. And I didn’t think Conan O’ Brien could have adjusted so soon but he did. And he’s been doing it in style taking potshots at Twitter like everyday. I have to give it to him for, “In the year 3000, YouTube, Twitter and Facebook will merge to create a super time wasting website known as You-Twit-Face”. Awesome!

• And then he got Green Day to perform on the 2nd episode. But that’s no big deal because I’ve seen Green Day performing at his other show many times. The big deal is that Billie Joe actually gifted Conan The Billie Joe Armstrong Signature Gibson Les Paul Junior! Pompous name eh? But it’s big deal.

• I think I finally figured out what I wanna be. I wanna be Conan O’ Brien!

• I shouldn’t have told my mom that. :-/

• Federer just about won against Del Potro. The guy is good, it was heartening to see him coming up to Federer and congratulating him like he did. I know they all do it but you can see the vibe in the way they do it. This one was pretty genuine.

• Federer is going to have a tough time against Robin Soderling. I’ll not be surprised if Soderling ends up winning. Just because Nadal lost doesn’t necessarily mean that Fed will win.

• All that said, I still and always will support Federer. Go him!

• The women’s final is going to be interesting. I think Safina will win. I don’t care, really. I’m just happy that Serena Williams won’t. :-/

• You have to read this hilarious Angels and Demons review by @ankurb

• The Tooth Fairy a.k.a. Vasudha P got a brand new Dell Studio XPS AND completed a 100 posts. So go congratulate her.

• Mr. Bharat Iyer did amazingly well in his 12th Board exams. And he’s getting his new Dell Inspiron 15 this Sunday. If all this doesn’t bring him to blogging, nothing will.

• Ms. Vasudha W also did exceptionally well in her boards. She says she passed but she ain’t back. What is it with these kids?

• If anyone from Dell is reading this, pliss notice that I mentioned Dell twice. And I also happen to own a Dell Inspiron 1525 (which you guys stopped making just about when I bought it :-/ ). Mind giving me some $$$ for all the shameless publicity?

• I’d rather you guys don’t read the user reviews in the Inspiron 1525 link. They’re too disappointing. Actually, they’re kind of true too. I haven’t owned this thing for more than a year and I’ve had a Hard Disk drive death as well.

• Bheegi Billi a.k.a Drenched is baaack. Well, kind of anyway.

• I need to figure out how to remove the related posts that come after every post. The way I used to write is well, embarrasing to say the least. :-/

• The Emperor of the World has given up on blogging. Go post whiny comments on his blog or buzz him on Twitter (@geekwrestler) and ask him to come back.

• Linking was not such a good idea, trust me.

• Yes, I know this post is lame.

• Yes, I know I should end this here if I wish to live.

• FINE! Bye!

If you’re in a particularly good mood, I advise you not to read this because I’m not in a very good one and this post isn’t gonna lift your spirits in any which way. However, if you’re angry, fucked up, pissed off and so on, I would advise you to read this because knowing that there is somebody who’s even more confused and fucked up than you are might help your case. Works for me, at least.

So Charlie Chaplin once said, “I like walking in the rain because nobody can see my tears”. That might not be exactly what he said so Charlie uncle, please don’t jump on me for copyright infringement, defamation or some such fancy thing. So yea, something like that coming from Uncle Charlie, who used to make everybody laugh was really something. Or that’s what people say. I think it’s pretty normal because at the end of the day, he was just a normal human like all of us are. Well, he might have had a better sense of humor, more $$$, more popularity but at the end of the day he was just a mortal. Somebody who had his own set of problems. Every human struggles somewhere or the other. I wonder why I’m even rambling about all this. Anyway, so he said that and it’s a popular quote and everything. Me being me, I thought I’d come up with something myself. But since it doesn’t really rain because of the screwed up ecosystems anymore, I had to slightly change the situation. So I thought I’d select something that happens more often. Something like power cuts. So my version goes like, “I like power cuts because everything goes dark and nobody can see anything”. What it basically means is that I like sitting outside in the balcony during the power cuts and imagining people in the house next to mine bouncing into the walls because they’re completely clueless and can’t see. Obviously that doesn’t happen because they’ve all got generators going but I like to imagine that. The thing is, it satisfies me to think that at least during the power cuts, nobody can see anything in front of them, just like me all the time. I don’t see any future for me. I don’t know what’s coming. And there are reasons for that, quite a few of them.

Everybody has some aim, some passion in life. I have none. Nothing at all excites me. Some people like Physics, somebody wants to get into the best medical institution in the country. Everybody who’s my age knows what they want from life. I, on the other hand have absolutely no idea, agenda or plan. This feeling becomes more prominent during the examination and result season because everybody’s going here and there to join colleges etc. and it really hurts to see that everybody has a plan. I had none when I joined college last year. And today, about a year later, I’m not any wiser. I still don’t have any passion, any interest. I had a keen interest in computers, but that seems to have died now. My mind says that’s because college isn’t satisfying enough but I think that’s just a lame excuse. I’m supposed to be starting MBA preparation in a couple of months but there’s nothing that particularly excites me about that either. It’s just a kind of a sacrifice. I’m doing that only because I want to escape everything and I want to get rid of people telling me what to do and so on. But that’s all. Whether that is a good decision, I don’t know and quite frankly, I don’t care.

This brings me to the aim part of life. The mother is pretty tired of me giving her this excuse every other day. She tells me that if I don’t have any aim in life, I will never achieve any success in life. Aim is the most important thing in life. And then she tells me to make one fast. She says that I keep lying around everyday, maybe I should analyze things during that time and make up an aim. But I don’t think that’s gonna happen like that. Aim is a very important thing in life, isn’t it? How can I just sit for a couple of hours and decide my aim? I don’t know. The fact that one of my good friends got admission into AIIMS last year and one is going to IIT this year doesn’t help things one bit. “When both of them could have an aim in that age, why can’t you?”, questions my mother. That’s a question I really have no answer to. And when I don’t answer that, she thinks I’m screwed in my head. And I don’t blame her for that. There was an article in the newspaper a couple of days back and it had John Abraham talking about how some of the most successful people he knows were clueless when they were 20. I liked that article but I never mentioned it to my mother because I didn’t want to create a fuss on that, she’s kind of touchy when it comes to my histrionics in 11th and 12th. But today when I decided to talk to her about my clueless-ness, she brought this article up. I was very surprised at how well she knows me. She said that I’m screwed up and that I keep getting lost because of such articles and because of them “stupid rockstars”. Stupid rockstars would mean Green Day. I knew I should not have discussed the idea behind their songs with them. How can you expect her to not get alarmed when she watches a video like Jesus of Suburbia or Holiday? But it’s not entirely my fault. I have to discuss my feelings with somebody and that happens to be the mother because nobody else listens to Green Day here. These are the times when I miss having a sibling. Maybe they would have understood? Or maybe they wouldn’t have. That’s another of those many things in life that I don’t know. Sometimes I wonder where I would end up 10 years from now. I might be highly successful, I might be somebody average, I may be broke or I may just be dead. I don’t know. I just don’t know.

The weather outside was good today so I decided to drag the bean bag into the balcony, just lie down, listen to 21st Century Breakdown (finally!) and just stare at the stars. I know that sounds very melodramatic etc. but I love doing that, it’s fun. And especially when there’s a power cut and everything is quiet because all the AC’s and stuff have to go off. So I asked this exceptionally shiny star guy, “Dude, you have any idea about my aim?”. And just when I thought it was gonna answer, this cloud comes and hides it from view. But me being the optimistic guy hoped that the star would tell the cloud about my aim and then it’ll rain and one of those droplets will finally enlighten me. But it didn’t rain. Optimism begins to get on your nerves after a while, I tell you.

My generation might not be a zero, but I’m pretty sure I’ll never make it as a Working Class Hero. Silence is not my enemy, this stupid brain which thinks too much is. Maybe someday I’ll just pick up my 21 Guns and cause a massive 21st Century Breakdown. That day will be fun, oh yes.

No really lol, I’m not emo. I was just playing with the song names to make something up. I can’t even kill a cockroach damnit, so chill. I’ma live. As long as my stupid junk food diet permits me to. :/