I R Bor3d
Some of you might have noticed that I made a post last night which is not here anymore. I really hope at least a couple of you did because if you didn’t, it’s gonna burst my bubble that people actually read this blog. And bursting bubbles is not a good thing. Just think of a condom as a bubble, you don’t want it bursting at the wrong time, do you? Definitely not. After that er, rather pathbreaking analogy, I come to the reason for this post which, well, is equally pathbreaking because it’s nothing. Zilch. Nada. Anda. Jero. So what am I gonna write here? I don’t know. What I can tell you though is that this is going to be pathbreaking. Er, now I should really quit using that word or else people would mistake me for some IPL commentator. Woah, did a ball just fly over my head?! DLF MAXIMUM!!??!!??! Oh no, that was probably just my mother hurling objects at me to make me move. I really shouldn’t have made her listen to Green Day. Now she is hell bent upon peeling me off my Velcro seat and get me moving. I sure as hell could not have done that myself anyway. Call me pathetic call me what you will. ( Hint: Green Day – Longview [Lyrics])
- Talking about Green Day, their latest album called 21st Century Breakdown is coming out this month and I’m like reaaallly excited. You can sense it, can’t you? I made it pretty obvious, duh. Go back and look at the ‘reaaallly’, have you ever seen me stretching words like that? That’s excitement for you right there. That’s as excited as I get, really.
- And when you are talking about Green Day, can Coldplay be far behind? Nah. Who is this James Morisson guy? I saw him on vh1 a couple of minutes back and I think he bears an uncanny resemblence to Chris Martin, frontman of Coldplay.
- Fine, I know the previous point was unnecessary, but do I look like I care? Oh crap, you can’t even see me, how will you tell?
- vh1 is a really nice channel and plays nice songs too. The only thing that sucks is that it makes you listen to an average of 3 crappy songs before every nice song. But still, that is way better than MTV India. Or maybe it’s not MTV’s fault, it’s just that we actually make more crappy songs in here. The entire Billu Barber album, for example?
- Whenever I see the videos of those three superb Billu numbers with Deepika Padukone, Kareena Kapoor and Priyanka Chopra, it sends shivers down my spine. As much as I love respect you SRK, what the fuck were you thinking? No really, what were you thinking? That said, I can’t stop humming ‘ Theek hai theek theek sab kuch theek hai..’. I never said the lyrics were crappy, did I?
- I think the dismal show by the Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR) ( Now rechristened to KZZ.. by @b50 because all they do is sleeping) is SRK’s punishment for all the Billu’s and the OSO’s that he has given us. Oh, and the Fake IPL Blogger is our savior? Whatever he is, he’s doing a fabulous job with nicknames. I mean, Appam Chu*iya? How priceless is that now? Okay, after you are done laughing your asses off, you must read what Greatbong has to say about the IPL too.
- Is it just me or do all the bands out there use Gibson guitars? Fine, I can’t afford one. Stop rubbing it in already, guys!
- Breaking News! – South Park is coming to Indi-yeah! On vh1! And Bingo chipps is one of the sponsors. Best thing they ever did in their life. I’m actually gonna buy a packet of their chipps just to salute the move. Flavors anyone?
- It premiers 11th May, 2009 at 10:30 PM.
- Woah, wait a second, 10:30 PM? Was that the best time you could come up with, vh1? Don’t you know 10:30 PM is Na Aana Is Des Laado time in this part of the world? However will I get to watch South Park now? I need a personal TV! Gah.
- Those Vodafone ZooZoo’s are sooo annoying. I wonder why everyone loves them so much. That said, does Airtel really think they can beat the ZooZoo’s with cheesy R. Madhavan and Vidya Balan ad’s? Okay fine, agreed Balan is more annoying and has a worse dressing sense than the ZooZoo’s but still, she can’t overshadow them. Bring on the “Impatience is the New Life” kinda ad’s, people!
- Aand finally, I thought I’d leave you with a gory image in your head so you could remember and curse me for the rest of the day(s). What is worse than Missy Eliot?
- Ans: Missy Eliot with honeybees on her face. :-|
- No no, I’m not gonna leave you with an image of that torture. For that you will need to tune into vh1 and watch her latest video. No, I’m not even gonna Youtube it for you.
- And while you are watching that video and getting scared outta your skins, can one of you TataSky Plus people please record the South Park episodes and send them to me on DVD? Please? Pretty please? Very Pretty please? Aishwarya Rai please? Gah, I ruined it. Since when did Aishwarya Rai become pretty? Darn, I think Missy’s started affecting the brain already.
- K Thx Bai!
Well, I did read your last post. I was about to reassure abt the sms thingy you wrote. There are so many who would like you for your language in sms-es. ;) As for me even I am not creative enough to write f9. I can only shorten it. About No-man, no comments. Stupid Kiri. As MTV Tickr aptly said, he chose respect our of glory and respect and now he has none. :(
And what should I write about this post? Let it be.
@Poonam: Lol, I don’t know. Everyone tells me my SMSes are too formal and I kind of agree with them. English grammar wasn’t meant for SMSes, was it? But I have gotten so used to using it that it has become impossible to shift to txt-speak.
I’m glad you agree with my opinion about Kiri. Although everyone was congratulating him on losing to the stronger contender but in the end, he lost. That’s the point. The No-Man guy won and he didn’t deserve it. He should’ve been chucked out. I think Kiri just over-did his luck.
This post will be. And aww, I really thought you would have to say! I was thinking of you when I wrote the point about Na Aana Is Des Laado because nobody else notices them! Personally, my Aana is Des Laado and Balika Vadhu puns are my favorite. :P
South Park on Indian TV is going to retarded. Due to Indian TV broadcast laws, all swear words most be bleeped out. Good luck enjoying South Park after that. There was this one time I was watching ‘Bad Boys 2′ on Set Pix. They had turned it into silent movie. With a few gunshots heard now and then. That’s what’s gonna happen to South Park.
Zee Studio is even better. If you watch ‘Con Air’, then you’ll see that all the expletives have been left intact, but in the subtitles it’s replaced with the words ‘Con Air’. So when someone says, for example, “We’re in a lot of shit right now” the subtitle is given as “We’re in a lot of Con Air right now”. :|
Equally funny is Star Movies. In a scene, they’ll even blank out words like ’shit’, but the subtitles will say ‘crap’. One’s better than the other, is it?
Get a nice broadband Internet connection. Download the episodes. Simple.
I did read your last post and I have the same problem with SMSes. Can’t shorten the words. :( Balika Vadhu I watch. I think Na Aana Is desh would be too depressing for me to watch right now. I was horrified by their ads itself when they showed a baby girl child being immersed in to a huge milk pot.
That post still shows in your blog feed. Why did you delete it, though? And, yes, people still read your blog. :)
And I agree with Ankur — South Park would be a thanda samosa on Indian TV. :(
Dude. Missy Elliott rocks, okay? So, #%@$ you!!
See? See? SEE?
The only thing worth watching on MTV is/was Roadies. Hail VH1. It’s so superior, that on a scale of 1 to 10, where VH1 is 10, everything else starts from -5.
Ohkay, my prejudice. So shoot me if I like VH1 so much. And yes! South Park! Who’d have thought Bingo would sponsor it?
That said, I think I like Bingo. And not only because of this. I mean, its chips. I like its chips.
I have Airtel yaar. I can’t DVD you the South Park episodes. But if it comes to that, you can always look them up on Youtube.
=)
Btw, I don’t think your text messages are too formal.
Be proud of the fact that you don’t text like a retard. Down with txt-speak!! :)
@Ankur: Lol, typing @Ankur felt weird. I though this would be sent to you as a DM or something. Twitter addiction? I don’t know.
But yeah, you’re right about that. I’m actually very surprised how South Park got through the censor board in the first place. I have a feeling they didn’t even watch it before approving it. Maybe they’ll wake up when some despo would file a complaint against all the, um, objectionable content and then simply ban it. This keeps happening with them English movie channels which show pornographic movies at night, don’t it? I specifically remember a channel called Ren TV which used to do this. It was quite a topic of discussion back at school. :P
Oh yeah, I’ve seen all the dubbing thing going on on Star Movies and it’s very lame. It completely destroys the fun. Not only are they misleading but they are also very distracting. I wish there was an option to turn them off. But Zee Studio and Con Air? This is something new I’ve heard. It must’ve been hilarious!
I have a fairly decent broadband connection and downloading the episodes it will be. That time slot is totally #FAIL for me anyway. Oh shite!
@Maddie: You too? And it is very annoying when we are unable to fit the message into the allowed 160 characters, isn’t it?
I haven’t watched a lot of Na Aana Is Des myself but if the mother is to be believed, it’s a nice show and not as depressing as it looked from the promo’s.
@Vasudha: Yeah, I know it shows up in the feed. I don’t know, it looked too boring and unnecessary to me, and hence the delete button.And thankies to all those people who read my blog, I’d written that in the previous post, actually. Totally forgot it here. You reckon I should’ve just let the old post be?
I agree with Ankur too. Agreed it’ll be thanda samosa but at least it’ll be there. I’m just looking at in a way that there are better things to come.
#%@$ me? :-O
Okay, I’m sorry. I’m fine with Missy Eliott as such but the sight of honeybees all over her face was just depressing. It was not so much about her face. Honeybees on anybody’s face would be a disturbing sight.
You know, you’re right about that, actually. Even your messages never had text speak and they never felt formal. Maybe I’m just being over-critical? Yea, that’s it I think.
@Espera: It’s not just you. Even I’m a big fan of vh1. I mean, how can you not like a channel which has shows like Storytellers and Pimp My Ride going? It’s ruddy brilliant!
I’ve never really tried Bingo for some reason. I don’t really believe in experimenting and Bingo has all kinds of crazy flavors. Anyway, since you like ‘em, any flavor recommendations?
Youtube, no. Downloading, yes. Youtube takes too much time to buffer and my patience runs out during that. Torrents FTW!
TV shows don’t have to pass through the censor board, but they can be served notices later by Information and Broadcasting Ministry – a la Chocolate Axe ad, Shin Chan, and Animax India. But porn in late night slots on English movie channels? That’s…interesting. More details?
(I swear I’ll kick you squaw in the nuts if you even dare to call movies like ‘Striptease’ porn. That’s not porn. Besides, it was a pathetic movie anyway.)
You can watch all episodes of South Park on the official website of South Park itself.
You should try Achaari Masti. Otherwise, I prefer Lays’ for their tomato flavour. Oh and Mad Angles. That’s good too.
Yes, Pimp My Ride is so cool!
I wish they’d extend that to India.
I like Fabulous Life too. I don’t know if it’s still on air. I haven’t seen it for quite a while.
Nice one, ISh ..
–> It will be ral fun as Sout Park is coming to India !!
–> Fake IPL Player’s blog is fun to read but it has become boring recently .. I dont think it belongs to any KKR player .. Coz most of the things that guy has written are mere common sense ..
–> So which team are you supporting in IPL ?? I enjoyed the contest that u had put up last time about the IPL .. I hoped u will come out with the same but U disappointed me :-( .. But then u r pretty busy with college and studies and stuff so I guess I m not that mad at u..
Bleh.. we don’t even get vh1 here.. this sucks! Hey, ish if u send me a tata sky, i’ll send to the dvds, i promise :D
P.S. why’d u delete the last post?
P.P.S. Zoozoos FTW!
Oh FREAKK out @ James Morrison’s shocking resemblance to Chris Marin!!
I totally agree with what Ankur said about beeping all the parts. The whole episodes will be only beeped. No fun to watch, seriously.
Big Brother used to be aired during that time before. And they ALWAYS repeated it on week days. Maybe they’ll do it to South Park too…lets see.
I really like Airtels “Impatience is the new life” ad. Seems like its made by all young people and stuff.
ZooZoos are cute ok! & their language is REALLY cute!! =P
Oh, I’m going to get 21st Century Breakdown through torrents [hopefully *fingers crossed*].
And Green Day on VH1 Big Hit this WHOLE month!!
If you are trying out Bingo, tell me how the new “Cream & Onion” flavour is. Always wanted to try it. Its the copy of Lays’ American Cream & Onion. I’ll have to decide between the two!!
And Finally, good to see the Typical “Ish Speaks” post! You’re back! Wooho!
Martin*
o.O
u really look like that? and u say still no girlfriends? hmm interesting..
anyway vh1 is great! mtv well theres nothing cool in it except ranvijay..there was a point when i had stopped watching mtv coz of that sick mia!
and billu songs suck big time!
na aana is des laado? heard of repeaat telecasts? :)
Am unable to fit the message in the given character limit. My messages often tend to run into 2 smses. Due to that, I get a huge bill, plus some people receive only part of my message thus adding to the confusion.. :P
@Ankur: Ah, no wonder South Park made it to TV so silently then. I’m almost sure they’re gonna serve it a notice or something. It’ll be sad if something happens to vh1 because of that cause it’s the only “decent” music channel around.
And no no, no ‘Striptease’ porn. I’m talking about the real thing here. I don’t know much because I was pretty young and not into all of this then but from what I’ve heard, there was this Russian channel called REN TV which showed normal English/foreign movies just like Zee MGM did and stuff. But every Wednesday late into the night, they used to air porn movies. Not the XXX kinds but the soft porn kinds with frontal nudity, sex and so on. By the time I was old enough to figure all of that out, someone complained and the cable operator banned the channel. I have never seen it since. What a waste.
Oh good, thanks for the link!
@Soham: Yes, I’m glad South Park is coming to India but as everybody has pointed out in the comments, I wonder how nice and effective it would be with all the censoring.
You’re right. Fake IPL blogger’s recent post has been pretty boring and monotonous. I guess that had to happen. I’m sure he can see the end near with KKR virtually out of the IPL 2009. No point in carrying on the hype, is there? He said he would reveal his identity after their last match though, let’s see what he does there.
I’m not supporting anybody in IPL this time. Oh, and you actually enjoyed the PFHOI contest during last year’s IPL? I thought it was lame and that is why I didn’t think about redoing it this year. I had plans about having a contest where we were supposed to predict the team which would lose the match but then because of lack of inspiration ane because I was a little depressed during the start of the IPL, I didn’t get around to doing it. I’m really sorry to have disappointed you!
@Perx: Nothing new, even we didn’t get vh1 till some months back. That is when FW Cable which we get here decided to install Set Top Boxes for 500 bucks each. It was a blessing, I must confess.
I deleted the previous post because it was pointless and because I thought this post would turn out to be better. I’m really trying to find the old me and this post was closer to that.
And the ZooZoo’s? Well, no comments.
@Priya: Yeaa, they really look alike! As soon as this James Morrison video started on vh1, I was like, “WTF, why his Chris Martin doing a solo song?”.
Yeah, I think we’ve already agreed on the part about Ankur being right about everything. I think with all the cons it has, I might as well just download and watch or stream. I really don’t get the TV at any time of the day these days.
Impatience is the new life ad is very good! It’s a refreshing change from the stupid BSNL ones and even the stupid Airtel ones featuring Vidya Balan. I’m pretty sure it’s been made by young people. It’s almost a cult thing if you ask me. And ZooZoo’s, well, nevermind. I guess I’ll just have to live with people loving them.
I’m gonna buy the 21st Century Breakdown CD because Green Day is the favorite band and somehow I really wanna own the original album and pay for it, you know what I mean? Meanwhile, I showed mom a bit of Green Day today morning on vh1 and I don’t think she disliked them a lot. Thank God they weren’t playing Basket Case or Longview, though. :P
Oh, I’m not trying the cream and onion thing, sorry. I hate that flavour in Lays as well. I’m not into the exotic flavors, you see. That is exactly why I haven’t tried Bingo till date. All their flavors have shady names.
And I’m glad you noticed that this was a typical me post. I’m very very glad actually. THIS is why I deleted the previous post. That wasn’t me. This was. I actually might just be back! Woohoo!
@Aditi: Wait a second, I really look like what/whom? I think you got something wrong.
Agree with what you say about MTV. Rannvijay is pretty cool. Nikhil used to be cool at one point when he did MTV Super Select but something’s gone wrong with him now. And hey, Mia going around in that towel wasn’t such a bad site after all. :P
I know they have repeat telecasts but do you really think my mom would actually agree to watching a repeat telecast just so I can watch South Park? Nope, she wouldn’t. It’s HER TV. :/
@Maddie: You know you could just copy that comment and paste it again and you’ll get my reply. It’s the ABSOLUTE same here! :P
I&B Ministry served notices to Discovery Channel, AXN, and Star Movies over the AXN Chocolate ad. Imagine! And there was one time I think AXN got banned (as in completely taken off the air) for World’s Sexiest Advertisements. President of Sony Entertainment India had to go and beg the Indian government for forgiveness. Good luck to VH1 surviving more than a month with South Park. Gandhi as a resident of hell? Sex on screen? Those guys are _so_ screwed.
Ah. Some Russian shit. I knew the mainstream ones wouldn’t have the balls to air anything risqué.
Just a note: I’ve read your post!
Lol I would have so loved to see srk’s face specially in the previous match of his team :D..Mtv India and V are totally boring these days with repeated songs all the time and reality show crap.Aargh cable tv transmisson of Vh1 sucks >_<..And seriously the ZooZoo + Airtel + Bsnl ads piss me off with the exception of ‘Impatience is the new life’ ad and as for South park in India – no comments there X_X
when did your template change? :O I have been out of the blogger world, haven’t I? :|
Hee, nice pathbreaking analogy and OMG _you_ stretched a word! YOU! You don’t stretch words O_o
And ahaha, I’ve never seen MTV. The favs on my tv are set to all the english channels and that’s all i watch. But vh1 isnt that great? I like the playlists usually but weird stuff like yo mamma is just bleh
@Ankur: Oh, I did hear about notices being passed to all those channels but I didn’t know it was because of the AXE advert. And that was so unnecessary because it wasn’t even a girl doing the exposing. Wtf, there was no exposing what-so-ever. Just the girls eating the guy. Not everyone had to take it the sexy way. Yeah, AXN did get banned completely but again I thought that was because of some crazy show they used to show towards the night. I don’t remember the name. History Channel also seems to be trying its luck with all the documentaries and biographies they keep showing. Once they showed some album cover which had 20 nude chicks on it. Created quite a ripple. vh1 too is taking a dangerous decision. We can only wait and watch. I think “ass” is now allowed on TV, isn’t it? MTV has a show called Kickass mornings for God’s sake.
Nah, the mainstream ones would never do that. Zee MGM I believe was the only channel that did show some stuff. (read the ‘Striptease’ kinds).
@Cat: Lol, thanks!
@Ranko: If you read Greatbong’s article, he mentions SRK’s lack of enthusiasm in this season of IPL and it’s pretty evident. I never expected him to leave the team and come back to India, though. That was pretty lame, but then again, what would you do if your team decided to perform like that? Something keeps going wrong for them all the time. And I think SRK figured it was about time he did some nice movie because his popularity chart AND his back account must be going southward with the disasters called Billu and all.
@Wild Iris: See? You didn’t even notice that my template changed! Actually, nevermind. It only just changed a week back because my CSS upgrade expired and I had to go back to WordPress templates. This is my original template, remember?
Yea! I actually stretched a word. Like wicked cool, isn’t it?! That’s my way of bouncing up and down the room and running on streets naked! Omg!
Ah, so your favorite channels are the Star World, AXN, HBO kinds? I never got to watch many of the TV shows because nobody else at home is interested. All I watched was a season of LOST and around 2 seasons of 24. 24 was ruddy brilliant, I have to say.
vh1 is a fairly good but yea, you just mentioned the problem yourself. You have to face quite a few lame songs before a good one. But I guess they’ve got to cater to all genres so that much is acceptable. It can’t solely be a Rock channel or something but yea, they do have specific shows where they play only rock songs and stuff. Plus there are additional shows and concerts like vh1 Storytellers and Pimp My Ride
Hey! I missed your last post. Kyun hatai??
And is “Na Aana Is Des Laado” a new soap? The name is a put off in itself. *Yawn*
Aur ye to purani wali template hai na? The one which was there earlier?
Nah not really.Lol yeah I guess but then after the way he bigmouthed recently–>special mention to ’suck on it’:D and considering his team’s dismal performance which totally reduced umm.. the effect of his words to zilch ,one can hardly expect to see his face often in KKR’s matches.SRK probably realized it himself and fled back :D.Mebbe he feels its kinda better to stay low than flood the media with big talk again when everyone knows its no use :).All that hype and flashy costumes went to a waste though.Hope he doesn’t come up with another crap movie this time atleast :D
@Espera: Aiight I’ll try Achaari Masti. I hate the Tomato flavour in Lays. I hate every flavour except Magic Masala and Classic Salted. Them different tasting chips is not for me. I’ll try Mad Angles, yea, heard good things about them.
Yea, Pimp My Ride in India would be fun if they get someone like Cyrus Sahukar or Broacha to host it. It used to be better earlier actually, I saw a couple of recent episodes and they were no fun. I don’t *think* they show Fabulous Life anymore. They show Punk’d however which is reasonably okay. Other than that I don’t know what’s up with that channel, haven’t seen it in a long time either.
@Amit: Waise hi, I thought it was useless and unnecessary and unlike me.
Yeah, Na Aana Is Des Laado is a new soap which has become pretty popular. It’s an interesting concept too. I think this channel called Colors is doing a brilliant job with their concepts. They know where it hits and they’re using that to their advantage pretty well. Now what remains to be seen is if these shows will go over the top like every other show does.
Yep, this is the puraani waali template. The CSS upgrade expired na, and mereko aur kuch achcha hi nahi laga.
@Ranko: I think SRK’s been having a bad time over all. All the success and stuff got to his head if you ask me. Because if it hadn’t, he would never have done an OSO and a Billu after something like a Chak De. Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi I thought was reasonably okay though but when you’re going down, nothing helps and even fairly okay movies get trashed. I think he just needs to lay low, do a couple of good movies, cut the hype, establish himself, fire John Buchanan and get back into the frame.
Billu’s remake in tamil was a major flop at the box office even with the ’superstar’ roped in.Only its original mallu version was a big hit.Knowing that SRK should have been more careful in undertaking a potential risk.And well we all know how well it fared at the box office :D.The remakes were never as good as the original version.Yeah well said there’s more to IPL than just mere hype and publicity.
I had read your last post :)
and dont worry I still read your blog.
I read the previous post cause my feeder sent it to me. Never write ‘Tenjewberrymu’ again. Never.
Oh and, I suck at SMS language to. I read the f9 as F-9. Makes me think of F1. :P
South Park here?!!! Fucking brilliant!!
Hmm. Who is Missy Eliot?
I think your mind is getting affected. No, seriously, MISSY ELLIOT? Even talking about Green Day and Missy Elliot in one post is sad, and then you went ahead and mentioned honeybees on her face and what not! Gah! Stop watching VH1 so much. South Park in India would be lame. I didn’t bother checking it out. Make a wishlist for your birthday and demand South Park DVDs from everyone outside your family. :P
And high five for hating Zoozoos! They’re so irritating that I feel like slaughtering the whole lot of them and feeding them to malnourished Keira Knightley.
Anyhoo, hi! Long time! Been reading your posts on feed. Month still going bad?
I read ur posts.
:) May be a little late in commenting. :)
Billu’s songs weren’t as bad as u think.the movie was flop though the songs weren’t bad.after his stupid teams flop show all srk needs is some rest.By the way u write really well.