My wish that college would be delayed once again and that this would keep happening for 3 years and then they’d just call us one day and give us our degrees didn’t happen after all. College did start this time around. And it wasn’t exactly pretty. But maybe I was expecting too much.
I think I wore the exact same clothes this time around as I had worn on the pseudo first day. The shoes were still blue. And so were the jeans. I don’t remember what shirt I’d worn last time. Anyway, so I reached the college at around 8:50 and saw this guy who I had met during the admissions. I think he got more marks than me, a couple of percents at least. I didn’t recognize him at first but he did. So he comes to me and goes:-
Him: Jes jes, hey hey, ju remember me?
Me being me, I thought I’d answer him, in his own language that is, er, Punlish (Punjabi + English)
Me: Jes jes, of course I remember ju. Why would I naat?
Him: Good good, ready for Caalaj then?
Me: Yeah, I think so.
Then we had speeches and stuff. There was the announcer who was enthusiastic but not so good in English. There were the chicks. There were parents of the chicks who looked nervous and worried. And then there were the guys, a majority of whom had no clue what was going on on the stage because they were too busy finding out potential girl-friends. There were some others who were interested in the cars that were going towards the parking lot. There were a few nervous ones wondering what the seniors would do to them. And then there was yours truly, who was considering opening his copy and noting down the grammatical errors being made by the the announcer so he could mention them in his blog and laugh his ass off. But he didn’t do it for some reason he doesn’t remember.
And then, the speeches started. Human beings with various degrees of stomach protrusions and scary faces started coming up on the stage and addressing us. I didn’t see much because I was sitting at the back. Nope, this wasn’t because I’m one of the back benchers. It was because the girls had already occupied the first few rows. Two rows after the girls were filled with anxious parents trying to act as a barrier between their nashe ki pudi’s and the piercing glances of the galli ke gunde’s. Meanwhile, everyone who’d come on the stage would go on saying scary words like discipline, hard work etc. Everytime one such word would come, I would fall an inch or so in my chair so that by the time the speeches ended, it was looking like my chair was wearing a low waist jeans. That jeans being me.
Finally we entered the campus, anxious and all, with the seniors standing on the stairs and staring at us with manic expressions on their faces. We were sorted into sections and I entered my class. It was scary in there. I had expected an urban crowd but what greeted me was something the complete opposite. Something I had dreaded and something I knew I was gonna be uncomfortable with. Sitting there were human beings in weird clothes, human beings who had porcupine heads because they’re all Dhoni fans. A quick look on the female side wasn’t very encouraging either. They were the exact opposite cool looking, listening to English music kinda-chicks. That’s where I think I was over-expecting. But this was, well, unfair. I had always thought I had the better of my parents by forcing them to let me do what I wanted instead of an Engg. But turns out it’s the other way round. They finally managed to be the last man (and woman) standing by sending me somewhere where I can neither make a friend, nor a girlfriend. Clever guys them, really. I guess I got ragged by my parents instead of seniors as someone said in the comments section of the previous post. Whoever said it, take the credit yourselves.
The seniors, yes. So, we weren’t expecting much because we always knew the teachers in here were strict and all. But the seniors were even worse. They just came, checked out the girls. Asked their names and went away. That’s my future right there. I’ll be looking into the first year next year hoping some decent chick finally makes her way here and I can hit on her. Let’s just say the future doesn’t look very bright. Anyway, once we reached our classes, the teachers explained to us the rules of the institution. Some of them were extremely amusing. There’s one particular one which says that a guy and a girl cannot be seen together unless they’re discussing something educational. Yeah right, you’ve got to be kidding me. That didn’t even happen in schools! How could you do this to me, dad? Don’t you wanna see your son married and making his own cricket team? Or well, maybe a shooting contingent now that Abhinav Bindra’s struck Gold? Guess not. There was another rule that mobile phones can be used only in washrooms. Otherwise, they shall be confiscated and you have to pay 200 bucks to get them back. I’ve seen that one being flouted openly. Another one says we have to wear formals one day of the week. I hate formals. Period. Where there are rules, there’s a guy who’s got to implement them. We have one such guy here too. Everyone fears him and starts running and hiding at the sight of him. If you’ve seen Main Hoon Na, and remember that Hindi teacher who speaks broken English and how everyone starts running at the sight of her, just imagine the same thing and fit our guy in there.
I could go on and on, but then this will get boring. I have a few friends there. And my new beshtesht friend uses my mobile phone to call and text message his girlfriend. I don’t even know why I let him do that. The language on campus is Punjabi. I know Punjabi but I’m more comfortable with English and Hindi. But well, you can’t speak that in there. If you speak English, they’ll just refuse to understand and if by mistake you speak in Hindi, they’ll look at you like you’re some earthworm who got AIDS by having sex with itself. I’ve not missed even one lecture till now. It’s not that I’m very studious. It’s just that there’s nothing to miss classes for. I’ll end up getting bored so I might as well attend the class and laugh at my situation and find things to blog about. I’m probably the only guy who doesn’t like free periods and wishes that they’d have all the lectures on the trot and let us go home as early as possible. And every one of the last 4 days has ended with rains. It keeps raining ALL THE TIME. Yeah, I know rains are fun but the fact you have to wait in college after all your lectures just so the rain would stop kills all the fun. And ultimately it doesn’t stop and you reach home completely soaked all the time.
The only good thing about college was probably that I didn’t hate my maths teacher the minute I saw him. Usually I hate all my maths teacher’s but this one seems to be okay. Or maybe it’s the fact that I’m the only one answering in class because I’m from a Non-medical background and everybody else is either Commerce or Arts. Only that can explain a guy who got 48 on 100 in his 12th boards being the most responsive student in class. But that shall end soon because Trigonometry is the next thing we take up in Maths. Good luck to me. And yes, Happy Indian Independence Day as well.