So the crash course officially ended today. At times it was good, at times it was okay and at times it was plain old boring. But it had it’s moments. Here are some things I might remember from it for the times to come:-

• The hot chick who almost crashed into me.

• The cute chick who wasn’t exactly hot but was err..cute. You know what I mean, right? Anyway, I haven’t talked about her here so nevermind.

• The pranks on the Maths teacher. The kids asked him to switch on the exhaust fan one day and as soon as he touched the button, someone screamed and the Maths guy jumped where he was standing. He thought he had gotten an electric shock. His expression was priceless. Nope, it wasn’t like Katrina Kaif’s expressions. Wait a minute, does Katrina Kaif have expressions? Naa!

• The translating English songs into Hindi during the boring Physics classes. Me and my friend successfully translated Boulevard of Broken Dreams from Greenday to ‘Toote Sapno ka Chauraaha’ by Hara Din. So if you listen to it ten years down the line, you’ll know it’s a rip off. I would have posted it here but the thing is that my friend wants to put it on his Orkut account so I decided not to double post it. I will make the text file available some day though, it still needs some finishing touches.

• The imagining the Physics, Chemistry and Maths teachers as members of the band Greenday. Now you know I’m obsessed with Greenday. The maths teacher was my Billie Joe Armstrong, the Physics teacher was my Mike Dirnt and the Chemistry teacher was my Tre Cool. But then one fine day the Maths teacher got a haircut and ruined it all. His hair was the reason I had made him Billie. And without Billie, there is no Greenday. *sob*

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Some girls are funny. Some wet girls are funnier. And then there are girls like Drenched, who are 10,000 million times funnier than any wet girl you’ve ever met. And she thinks she’s having a writer’s block. So she tagged me to write some things about my childhood and here I am, trying to remember ‘em. By the way, did you notice how amazingly I framed the title of this post? You’ve got to give it to me, you seriously have to. And I know I’m bragging way too much. And I don’t care..

Everyone’s so full of shit
Born and raised by hypocrites
Hearts recycled but never saved
From the cradle to the grave

We are the kids of war and peace
From Anaheim to the Middle East
We are the stories and disciples of
The Jesus of Suburbia

Land of make believe
And it don’t believe in me
Land of make believe
I don’t believe in me

I don’t care
I don’t care
I don’t care
I don’t care
I DON’T CARE!

Wow, my randomness surprises me at times. Back to the childhood:-

• I remember this one incident when I tied a string to my He-Man tiger Battlecat and tied the other end of the string to my bed. Then I hung all sorts of action figures from the string. And finally I took a photograph of it. I think I still have that photograph, but I lost the tiger and all the action figures.

• I distinctly remember my nursery school headmaster. I was really shy back then and she made me the reasonably conversable person that I am today. I remember her coming to our house once and me showing off my toys.

• I remember my bench partner from Class 2 or 3. She was brilliant and I was lousy. I was shy and she was a menace. I remember her torturing me by stealing my sharpener. And I used to keep cribbing about it. Some guy I was. She was in my class for 5 or 6 more years after that but we never really talked after that year. Our school never encouraged boys and girls talking to each other. When I entered 12^th standard, again she was in my class. We weren’t partners but everything else was the same. She was still brilliant and I was still lousy.

• I remember being slapped for no reason once. I had, for the first time in my life, taken part in a dance during the annual function of my school. And I was made partners with this girl who really hated me for some reason. One day they had made a chalk line in front of us and had asked not to step on it. The girl deliberately stepped on it and when the teacher asked who had done it, she pointed towards me. And thwack! Some slap that was.

• Then after some years I participated in another dance and I had a friend who was also participating. We had to wear a dhoti for the dance and they said that we should tie the dhoti from home and then wear pants and then remove the pants at the time of the performance. And this friend of mine came without wearing an underwear. So when the teacher told us to take off the pants, this guy went ahead too and the teacher was like OMGWTF! And everyone else in the class was like ROFLMAO. Finally they had to let him perform with the jeans on. Guess nobody told him that The Underwear Goes Inside the Pants. Has anyone else heard that song too?

• I remember being extremely scared of mathematical tables. Whenever I would be asked to recite them, I’d get an instant stomach ache. The same thing would happen during the exams. I used to be real anxious about my performance back then. It seems funny now. I used to be scared back then when I knew everything and these days, even though I don’t know anything, I’m more confident than the topper of the class.

• I remember cribbing over TV channels with my cousin brother. He was in his wrestling watching age and I was in my cartoon watching age. And I always used to win because I was younger. And when my cousin’s mum would go out, he used to try them stunts on me. I can’t even remember how many Chokeslams he’s given me. But I love him.

• I remember being awed by my Nanaji. There was something about him..there was just this aura around him. He used to be very strict and very impatient but at the same time he used to love me. He was the strongest human being I’ve ever known in my life. Despite having so many health problems, he never really looked weak and had this amazing willpower to come out of anything. That’s why I still can’t believe that he’s dead.

• I remember my Nanima buying chipps for me whenever I’d visit her place. It used to be a lot of fun there because I was pampered to no end. She still pampers me. I also remember my Dadima making all those delicacies exclusively for me. I’d only have to utter the word and they would be there in front of me. She’s the one who sits and listens to what I’ve got to say when I’m sad. Even though she believes in God and I don’t, her God related stories do manage to soothe me down. I can’t imagine living without her.

• I remember my mom as always being concerned about my performance and my dad always being busy with his work. I know my mom and dad love me but somehow I don’t really remember any particular instance of it. I remember my mum waking up nights with me and making me write all the spellings until they were perfect. I also remember my dad forgetting which class I was in.

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That’s about it for now then. And I will not exactly be available tomorrow and day after because I have to go to Chandigarh for my AIEEE examination. The PFHOI contest will be updated either late Sunday or early Monday.