Yesterday was some night. I was wide awake at 1:45 AM in the night just lazing around because the mood was a little mellow. And then the clouds decided to pour their tears on the earth and it started raining. All this while, Chris Martin was singing super emotional ready to make you cry songs. I also managed to find another sad but amazing hindi song last night and it’s called “Laree Chootee”. All the credits for me ending up finding the song have to go to Indian Idol 3 contestant Parleen Singh Gill. I was just checking out random YouTube videos when I landed up across him singing this song in one of his performances. Immediately I set to work and downloaded this song. I’ve listened to it over 30 times since yesterday night.
So yesterday I was in a weird mood. Everything was going good but still, I wasn’t happy. I was feeling low for no reason. That’s called my authentic mood swing where I go like totally lame and start talking all kinds of shit. Yesterday it was triggered off by another member in the family dying. Even though he wasn’t a close relative but it does feel bad. In the last 5 months or so, I’ve seen an entire generation vanishing in front of my very eyes. And it’s so pathetic that at one moment somebody’s there and the very next moment you’re just a damn photograph. It’s so depressing. It was my maternal grandfather’s death months back that triggered these feelings. I could never imagine him lifeless. He was so great for me. He had made so much money by working alone and now he was just lying there on the bed, lifeless and it’s all over. I still refuse to believe he’s dead. I couldn’t believe there was nothing left when they burnt his body. I don’t really think I cried because it doesn’t express my emotion. For me, he can never be dead, whatever somebody says. And I don’t even care if this post is making sense anymore.
Anyway, with all the weird mood, the only thing missing was alcohol. Probably a couple of Bacardi’s and that would’ve made the night. Just as a signing off thing, I’ve been wondering how “f9″ becomes “fine”. Shouldn’t it be like “fnine”? Any clues?
26 Comments
It’s weird in that we know that this life is not forever, yet we keep ourselves busy doing something. I think the human mind is great this way…we know that all of us will die one day. Anyway, I have realized it the hard way that it is more important to focus on how you will live this life instead of focusing on death..and always remember your loved ones. Don’t let it bog you down. Remember how much he loved you
I know he loved me. But it’s still kind of unbelievable. He was so happy. Finally he was living for himself, spending money on luxuries and just a couple of days later, he’s in the hospital and we still expected he’d be fine because he has this amazing will power. And then he just died. In one flash, everything is over. I don’t believe it.
I understand…it’s the biggest truth in our lives…cherish every moment with your family and friends. Sorry to hear about your grandparent. I know how devastating it can be.
I understand what it feels like thinkin beyond life..beyond the end!!..its somethin i wonder about almost whenever m depressed abt somethin..the ultimate and inevitable end..and what hurts more are the thoughts of someone’s absence which would last ever and forever.hmm..but its the truth which can only be accepted..no questions which wud be answered and no answers wud be convincin enough!
I do feel sorry for u..
@Ruhi: You’re right. When the old guys are with us, we think they’re just trouble giving us advice and all. But when they’re gone, that’s when you realize their importance.
@Priysha: Thanks for stopping by. And yea, I think beyond life when I’m depressed too. And that usually leads to me getting high to avoid the depression and ultimately, I get all confused and go to sleep. The truth is difficult for me to accept but yea, he’s dead so I just hope he has a good afterlife if there is one. Thanks for talking.
I know that feeling only too well, you remember that you never asked them so many things, you remember those fun times…. hope you’re ok dude.
I would’ve posted a joke to lighten up your mood, but I don’t feel like it…
@Ash: Yea dude, I’m fine now. Those mood swings don’t last more than a couple of hours and this was day before yesterday. You’re so right btw. My grandfather used to tell me stories about how he worked hard and how he became great and how people started respecting him and he built himself a name. A part of me still wants to hear those stories but ah well, it’s all over now.
Arghhh!!! Why the heck do I have to comment signed in to my old account. Waah!
How does it matter anyway lol?
I felt exactly the same way when my mother was sick. I just felt so helpless. But when I think back, the only thing that comforts me is I spent as much possible time as I could with her. Those are the memories I can cherish forever.
Hope your Grandfather gets well really soon.
Btw I also loved laree chootee. As soon as I heard Parleen sing it I went straight to my computer and downloaded the song.
@ Day Dreamer: My grandfather is dead now. And the worst part is that I didn’t really get to be with him when he was dying. He lives in another city. My mother was in there but I was back here in my city. The doctors told he was really critical in the morning and we left for the city but he died half an hour before we could reach. Damn.
(we’re young so we ruin our health to make money..and then when we’re old we spend the money to regain our health) just an observation.My grandfather died too i know what it feels like
@Razvan: Yea, you’re sp right.
Hey thanx for the visit upon my blog!
U listened to that song for 30 times!? ugh!
im surprised, but its a really nice song!
nice blog u’ve got here and a nice header too
will be back to read more!
peace & love
Jeevy
@Rajeev: Hey! Thanks for dropping by here and for all the appreciation too. And yea, I’ve totally fallen in love with that song. Listened to it like 7 times today as well lol. I tend to get obsessed with songs and when I forget them, they get totally lost within the hordes of songs that have been lying in my hard disk. Will visit your blog too, seeyah!
I need to bloody sleep. Haven’t eaten in over 6 hours. And have yet to do all the corrections my mother has set me on my personal statement. Now let me get to the point. Are you willing to share that alcohol?
Ouch Sha, you can have the entire bottle.
ish: It matters y’know… I’m thinking of deleting my old blog and the url redirects there if I’m signed in.. plus I dropped the C. too!
Sha is alivE!!
Hey Sha, Best of luck for Mechanics if I’m not late already! 
@Ash: Yep, you’re dropping that C. I can see that part. But it doesn’t really matter if it redirects to your own blog. You’re pretty easy for me. I go to the address bar, type “gee” and you come up
@Ash: Yes sadly I’m alive. Thanks
Mechanics is on wednesday and I’m gonna fail miserably.
@Sha: No you aren’t gonna fail. Even if you do though, you know there are some people in here who’ve been doing that for years(read me)
True. Still you know when you’re gonna fail when you go to the teacher and say you can’t do half of the questions and they just go what ever.
OK then, you’re gonna fail. Who cares? Except your parents and a few teachers and seriously, these people are hardly important.
And the Universities. Oh if you want a good song. Check out Dakoda by Sterophonics.
Can you send it? I’m too lazy to LimeWire it and besides I’m going to the mountains tomorrow for a couple of days.
It’s in itunes format if you want it.